About Me

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Birmingham, Alabama, United States
43 Years old Born in Wilson, North Carolina. Work in Law Enforcement / Patrol, married I am a Political Conservative without a party to represent my vote. I dislike liars, especially the type who are politicians and preachers. I oppose abortion of any type at any stage. The baby is innocent and deserves life regardless of the mothers circumstances. I also dislike racists. Especially the kind that always scream racism at others when life doesn't go there way! Get a life, it's only skin color and God made idiots in all colors. I also dislike Democrats, they wouldn't know the truth if it bit them on the ass. I dislike Republicans, they are truly the most spineless creatures on God's green earth. I dislike arrogant environmentalist who think we can destroy what God created. If your homosexual, I don't dislike you, but please keep it in your own bedroom behind closed doors for the sake of the untwisted.

Friday, January 29, 2010

70 Minutes of Lies

Fool Americans Once, Shame on You Obama, Fool Americans Twice, Shame on American Fools! This was my basic understanding of the President’s very first State of the Union address. We just listened to 70 Minutes of unbelievable lies, yet so many fools out there will actually take his regurgitated campaign speeches to heart and believe that this man will do what he says… again! I find this very disturbing that the greatest nation known to mankind can be so chock full of people that can be duped twice by the same salesman. You see, I am beginning to believe that our nation, with decades of programming by our very own government has become deceived into believing that the government’s purpose is to control the people’s everyday lives and look after all the essentials of what Americans need and provide it for them, leaving the citizen’s dependant upon government to care for them from cradle to grave. Every school year less and less of our nations great history is taught to students leaving them void of the understanding of what the role of government is as defined in our constitution. Do the students of this country understand the significance of the definition of “The United States” as it pertains to our country and the role of our government? Do they understand that what is not covered by law or prohibited by the constitution are left to the people of each individual State to determine its own laws and how the State is to be governed? Do they understand that the Federal government should be small and have very little control over the personal lives and freedoms of its citizens? How sad that the students of public education today will never know the individual freedom the constitution guarantees them. President Barrack Obama has such an incredible opportunity before him to become the best president this country has ever seen. I sincerely believe he has that ability if only he took his own advice and studied the history of our founding fathers and the very constitution he seems so ready to ignore. Instead he chooses to bend over bow even further for the special interest groups and lobbyists of the members of his extreme far left Party than he does for the leaders of foreign countries. His Progressive ideology that has guided his policies during his first year in office has failed him miserably. Most severely, his policies and priorities have failed the American people by doing nothing to correct and pull them from this dismal economy he campaigned on to correct. You failed thus far Obama! You see, you’re the man America elected to correct the errors of George Bush’s spending spree and your answer so far has been to triple the out of control spending and wasting it paying off unions and special interests and to those who never contribute one red penny of taxes earned from labor, and you have corrected nothing, you’ve have only exasperated the crisis and guaranteed the value of the U.S. dollar to be unable to compete with other nations in the world. What you refuse to admit is that your Progressive slash Socialist theories do not and will not work in America to correct the problems of our slipping economy and everything else that ails us. You see, Americans are brilliant when they are truly free of stifling government taxes, restrictions and interference of their dreams and pursuit of happiness and prosperity. Obama has described rebates of certain taxes as a tax cut to the middle class. The middle class of America is and always will be the backbone of this country. We run this country and run it much better without the interference of the government. If you really wanted the economy to grow and improve quickly you would make tax cuts across the board on small business and the working middle class man and woman in this country. Abolish this incredibly stupid redistribution of wealth plan you identify as cap and trade and lift other operating obstacles in the way of companies across the nation that prevent profits which produce jobs. While your at it you can aggressively seek to remove as many people as possible from the public dole of welfare and attack the waste and corruption involved in it by forcing the able bodied person’s snared in its trap to get up and get busy. Move that wasted money into policies that provide help and promote hiring in small businesses. Most of all American’s need to remember that government does not produce money. Although they print money, all money earned comes from the taxes of the working people and companies which employ people. The government would have nothing if it were not for the American middle class workers. For those of you who work and understand this common sense fact, it is your duty to vote only for those candidates who not only understand it but put it into action not just empty words as Obama illustrated Wednesday night. What Obama needs to understand is that despite what the liberal media whores suggest, working Americans are not stupid. As Massachusetts has recently revealed along with other states, there are many who was fooled once but will not be fooled again. Times are tremendously hard for the working people and we have had enough of the lies that add nothing to our paychecks. And those who are jobless beyond their own control surely won’t be fooled again.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Our Hope

                            Billy Thomas McPherson

                                                           10-03-1947 - 01-23-2010

When death robs us of a loved one unexpected we are quickly reminded of our own mortality. The pain swells and overtakes us, the guilt of lost time and family squabbles inevitably raises its ugly head at the wrong time. Today I am deeply pained for my wife who lost her father just a few short hours ago. We were at the Hospital sitting in a conference room listening to the Doctor and Surgeon who cared for my Father-in Law tell my wife and her younger brother Tommy that there just was not any hope of Bill to recover from extensive brain injuries received in a vehicle wreck almost one week prior to the hour. All week long we reached deep inside us to muster up as much faith as possible to believe he would somehow overcome his severe injuries. Just this morning we woke up to go to my wife’s store and both of us talked about how good we felt about the possibilities of her father Bill making a recovery. We often commented on his brute toughness and the many close calls he had survived over the years. Needless to say we fed each others faith and built up enough hope to keep each other encouraged. After being in the store for about an hour my wife’s cell phone rang and she answered. She immediately wept and fell apart when she learned that her father had two massive strokes during the night. Her brother informed her that the Doctors were encouraging the family to meet at the Hospital. Once we all were there we learned that each side of Bill’s brain had had a stroke which left him mostly brain dead. The decision had to be made whether to leave him as he were on life support, or remove him and let him go. I knew my wife was suffering along with her brother, uncles and cousins and I sat silently as I listened to the decisions being made. It broke my heart. Still though, deep inside I had a nagging desire that a little more time should be given despite the news we were just told of his condition with very little odds in his favor barring a miracle. Was it faith or was it selfishness? I wondered and found myself unable to answer. Was it just Bill’s time to go, or was it fate that he chose to drive only a few miles down the same road he lived on to pick up dinner for himself and wrecking upon his return? He was so close to home and very healthy and here we are a week later and my children take turns to say goodbye to the last Grandfather they will ever have with tears streaming down their sweet faces with looks of anything but understanding on their countenance. I stayed in the waiting area until my youngest daughter came in crying. I held her and comforted her as another family member came to get me. I went back to Bill’s room to comfort my wife. She became very sick and I had to drive her home immediately and did not realize until she told me that after my youngest daughter told her Grandfather that she loved him, the nurse took her from the room to me and my wife watched as her father took his last breath and passed away. I like to think that the last words Bill heard was of his youngest Granddaughter telling him that she loved him and he left this earth with Abbie Gail’s words in his ears and soul. My wife told me that she felt he waited until all those he wanted to see him off had come to say goodbye and he was ready to leave with all the love he needed to part this world with. I am grateful that his room was filled with love as those who were in his room were also filled with love. Death is always sad, especially the unexpected death that sometimes sneaks upon us. It is a reminder that we are only temporary on this earth, in our bodies and each of us should prepare ourselves for our own time because we cannot predict when it will be. Before we left the Hospital tonight my son asked me how long it hurts when someone you love dies. I could only tell him the truth and I simply told him that you never stop hurting for those you love when they die. You never stop missing them. At least that has been true with those family members I have lost. But you also never stop loving them. What a joy it will be when we all meet again in Heaven. That is our hope!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Learned Behavior That Divides

I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama. I doubt there is another region in the United States of America that has been more cursed by racial hatred and violence than right here in my hometown. Ironically, Birmingham, Alabama can also be described as the most religious of all cities in the United States. Almost every street corner has a place of worship from smaller homes remodeled into a church building to the most splendid cathedrals and temples, most of those ironically are Southern Baptist in denomination in the black and the white communities as well as the rich and the poor. How incredible that people living in the same city in neighborhoods so closely situated together and the same God worshiped along the same lines of belief and yet only the color of their skin so deeply divided them. How incredibly ignorant this is yet it fueled the flames of hatred until its boiling point erupted into violence of historic proportions. Prejudices deeply rooted in both white and black cultures passed down from generation to generation touching each in its own way. Some more prejudice than others depending on the learned behavior from each home or church family channeled the poisonous hatred into each new generation. I remember the prejudice behavior that I learned at home mostly through slurs that were used more often than any true discussion about race or differing cultures. I learned even more prejudice behavior from peers in grade school. Believe it or not I heard slurs from the pulpit of church. A much more mild form, but slurs nevertheless. Now that I am older I understand that most prejudices are learned behaviors of ignorance in each culture and that this ignorance left little room for interest in seeking understanding of the others hardships or pain of injustice let alone seeking resolution and unity. As I grew up I struggled as I’m sure many who can relate did with the conflict of Christianity and a prejudice upbringing. Although my learned prejudice behavior was very mild it was still in conflict with the Christian belief and indoctrination of my same upbringing. These two obviously opposed each other and do not belong together but as I mentioned before each culture was very similar in the belief of Christianity. I remember also the jokes and falsehoods I heard at school from other peers in school about Martin Luther King Jr. I also remember the history lessons taught in school that honored him although I had very little interest at the time. It was not until my late teens that my love for reading introduced me to some of King’s speeches. At first skeptical and on guard for my own race being criticized I found his speeches to be non offensive and even inclusive. Later in life from letters I have read and speeches from old television news reels I discovered that Martin Luther King gave instruction to both the white and black races to live in harmony, peace and friendship. I opened my eyes to what this man had dared to do in order for his own dream and vision to be realized. I admired the tremendous amount of courage this man possessed to face white America and hold them accountable to their very own historical documents of equality while being grossly outnumbered by angry throngs of people still blinded with the learned behavior of prejudice in their culture. Dr. King was relentless in his mission to see black America become equal to white America in Citizenship as the founding fathers wrote in the constitution but failed to produce in reality. Not unlike David and Goliath, Dr. King stood his ground at risk of the great peril he would eventually receive and achieved one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of mankind, and achieved his goal of America legislating their equal Citizenship. But he did this at the cost of his life. What a man to be honored. Tonight I reread Dr. King’s speech; “I Have a Dream” and I wonder if the message of the man was remembered by both White and Black America as we remember Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Is the learned behavior of ignorance of both races still stronger than the desire to follow King’s instructions to truly realize his dream of both races living in peace and harmony? What learned behaviors will each of us pass down to our children? We are all guilty at times of allowing that learned behavior to pop its ugly head out. But can we plant good seeds that can eventually smother out the weeds that grow between us?

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Wow! What an example of how everything we have or own can be removed in one swift moment in time without any control over our fate. The numbers keep fluctuating on the count of projected loss of life. No one is quite sure of the total number of dead at the time but no doubt it is rising by the thousands. People speculating on why such natural disasters occur and why they occur and where they occur. I do not know. Pat Robertson believes it is God’s judgment on the land due to their belief in witchcraft and Voodoo mixed into Christianity. There are clearly biblical examples of this such as the great flood and other events of famine etc. I know he is being torn asunder by the network commentators from the far left to the far right. I don’t know the true reason for such horrific things. Anyone’s guess really is as good as another because we don’t know the mysteries God keeps hidden from us. I suppose the reason for such mysteries is simply because our brains would be unable to comprehend them. We are only human. What I prefer to focus on is the Good Samaritan that reaches out to help his neighbor after such an event of catastrophic proportions as the Haiti earthquake. The news crews do a decent job of showing the hands on acts of love by those volunteers at Ground Zero. Our President is immediately criticized for his immediate response to act on this amazing crisis of humanity in need. Why? Sometimes events occur that require politics to move out of the way, sit down and shut up. There are still people who are fighting for every breath as they lay trapped under slabs of concrete and twisted metal as they breathe and pray for help. Sometimes those of us who oppose President Obama need to lighten up and let him do his job. Especially when there are people in dire need of rescue and basic life needs. This is one of those times. Does this mean I agree with every aspect of how Obama is responding to this crisis and all of his decisions? No, absolutely not. But what I am very familiar with is that when you are in situations where life hangs in the balance there should never be obstacles in the way to prevent help or the acquisition of desperately needed resources. I just could not imagine being the lead decision maker in a crisis so large involving millions of lives. I could sit back and blog my disgust with the politics of Haiti and their government while I sit comfortably in my heated office sipping a Cherry Coke ”Which I am” but playing  arm chair Quarterback on the situation does no good at all and it surely isn’t helping. I could also cringe at the 100 million dollars allotted for the rescue efforts but that is rather silly isn’t it when fellow human beings are in such dire straights. No, I’m proud that our country and our president is fast to act while so many need us. Will this help be remembered or appreciated? Does that really matter? No, I believe what is clear is that the United States of America has stood high above all other countries when it comes to being there to help. Not only the government of the U.S. but also its private citizen’s who give freely of their own money to support efforts to help. Private business and corporations donate by the millions of their profit to assist the immediate needs. To try to make a comparison of the United States benevolent efforts to other countries would be pointless. Leaders of many countries love to describe our nation as the Great Satan. It is times as these when our actions defend against the accusations of such leader’s petty and meaningless words.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Sleep to Slavery

I just feel my head spinning around on my shoulders from all the nonsense I keep hearing from our wonderful elected officials, or am I just experiencing vertigo in my brain as it continues to try to sort through and filter all the Bull Stein that flows into my ears from the TV and radio airwaves? I remember when the children’s channel Nickelodeon began on cable way back when. I think it was during the 80’s, but anyway, there was a skit they had on one particular show called “Opposite Day” or something similar where in the skit everything they did was opposite from reality or rules of nature such as the family cat taking the children to school, or the Popsicle would be licking the kid etc, etc. well it feels like to me that every time I listen to a politician speak, he or she is saying something that defies logic or common sense. Am I the only one here picking up on this? Example: Job’s Created or Saved. How can you get a fixed number on something speculated or unknown? Example: Healthcare reform. “It will not cost the tax payer one additional dime!” No Sir, it won’t! It will cost a Hell of a lot more than on additional dime! I wonder, are we really listening to these fools, or are we the fools marching in lockstep to the spoken orders of the great Savior? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain Folks! Remember this one? “We will broadcast the health care deliberations live on C-SPAN’. We could go all the way to the extreme of my point to such foolishness of Al Gore’s billion dollar business of Global Warming that so many millions of people are stupid enough to believe. Has our country reached the level of a Godless society such as Sodom and Gomorrah that we cannot even recognize the simple truths of common sense and reality anymore?  Are we so ignorant in our Government’s assessment of us as educated Citizen’s that they feel we can be so easily duped by lies, scams and political rhetoric? We must be because we sit on our fat laurel’s and allow them to continue to force feed us with lies at our own expense then re-elect and send them straight back to Washington with the power to rob us. I believe it is taking too long for American’s to wake up out of their Rip Van Winkle sleep to the fact that there are being stripped of all their rights one at a time while Obama works on his plan to enslave them. Don’t think so? You will be seeing the formation of his Citizen Security Forces soon. Hey, every Hitler needs an SS internal police squad to keep everyone in check. A.C.O.R.N. will be a great starting place and they are quite gifted with terrorizing their target enemies door to door. But don’t worry you can relax a while longer enjoying your big flat screen TV. I am sure he won’t rush into it as quick as he did with dismantling our Health Care system! 

Monday, January 11, 2010

Only Democrats Get Accident Forgiveness

Again, here we are with our latest freedom of speech issue which is inevitably lost in heated debate of race, culture and skin color further tangled by the unwritten yet very powerful law of political correctness which must be adhered to. That is of course, if you do not fall within the protected class of race or belong to the Democratic Party. The hypocrisy is as obvious as it is endless yet the Democratic Party members never suffer the consequences of violating their own guiding morals which is firmly rooted in the Marxist ideology from which political correctness was born. Moral standards of truth and principle take the backseat of political convenience whenever their own double standard is brought to the center stage by the violation of offense towards members of minorities when their own exercising of freedom of speech is in direct conflict with the sacred code of conduct political correctness demands. The rules are made as the game is played and the Democrat party referees all games. They are their own merciful Judges who consistently show no mercy to those who belong to an opposing Party violate offensive speech towards any minority member regardless of whether the truth is spoken or not. Senator Harry (The Hypocrite) Reid has become the latest perfect example of this tiresome double standard we regular Americans must live by or otherwise face immediate character assassination and loss of employment and income as a result of a candid opinion. In this instance, I stand above all else in support of our freedom of speech which is guaranteed by the Bill of Rights. What Harry Reid said was certainly a poor choice of words to describe his approval of then Senator Barrack Obama. This no doubt caused offense to the African American community from which he would risk being held accountable for his opinion by the African Americans who belong in his constituency. But what he said was no crime and certainly should not be required by those outside of his district to lose his elected position over his right to freely express his opinion. Our constitution does not restrict ones choice to offend another even when the offensive words spoken are not beneficial to others or even to the speaker. Senator Harry Reid has the right to his own free will to form an opinion of others and express that opinion. That is why freedom of speech was included in our Bill of Rights. Otherwise we allow the government or other authorities to police our very own thoughts by their choice of virtue and standard. This is the paradox of those who feel they believe they possess the authority and right to dictate what others are allowed to believe or express through speech based on their self imposed principles. In this blunder Senator Harry Reid finds himself caught in the very web he has cast for his own prey. In the normal realm of regular people the biblical principles of reaping what has been sowed would naturally be the standard of consequence, but not if yet again you belong to and rule as a member of the Democratic Party and practice its mandated religion of political correctness. In this case it becomes similar to the All-State insurance commercials we all see on TV. Accident Forgiveness is their exclusive insurance policy. This is a benefit available only to the members of the club. We all know what the fate of a non-democratic political figure would otherwise be if they’re speech violated political correctness or was offensive to a protected class member. So the apologists play their word games to defend the senator when previously they played a role in the witch hunt against a political foe. In the end this argument will only result in further damage to race relations as the hypocrisy of the Democratic Party continues unabated.

Saturday, January 09, 2010


Well, I have let my readers down and possibly lost a few due to my self imposed writers block. Occasionally I get one naturally but over the last week it has been by choice. I just can’t seem to get in the mood to write, so I am writing now in order to motivate myself. This has been a reoccurring problem not just with this blog but in several areas in my life lately. At work I have struggled with burn out and have blamed it on the usual negatives that come so easy such as working 12 hour shifts, and doing that at night to boot. Yes, I suppose that doesn’t help but that isn’t quite the reason for burn out. I know, everyone goes through it and I am nothing special. My daughter Amber has been home for a visit. I have taken off several days from work and have allowed myself the pleasures of laziness. She has been a blessing to be around and a delight to hear the compliments from others of how we did such a good job of raising her. I still say we grew up together so I can only take a small amount of credit for her raising. The rest comes from her mother, as is the case of her good looks. I made a mistake this morning and asked Amber if she was ready to go home. She simply said “That isn’t home Dad”. She is right, home is here and if the truth be known sometimes I wish she wasn’t in the Navy. I know more than you that I am selfish, but I miss my kid. Well, one year down and three to go at least. God bless her and keep her safe. We will miss her when she leaves in the morning. I also spent a lot of spare time working on my wife’s new website for her business. It should be going live soon. I am excited about it too because it is very professional and full of photos and content. But I am getting tired of working on it. I also have had a rare chance to go a week without shaving. This has been fun. I can hardly grow anything on my face but I like the feel of it. I know it don’t sound like a big deal, but due to my job I have to shave closely before every shift. So the change is fun. Back to burn out’s. I have been thinking on the subject over the last week and wondering how to get motivated in many areas at home and at work. So any suggestions would be appreciated. So Roll Tide! Wash my mouth out! If you don’t know me, that is very difficult for me to say or write. I have a hatred of the Alabama Crimson Tide that equals that of Al-Qaeda, other Terrorists and the Democratic Party. I actually found myself truly struggling with wanting to pull for Alabama and also pulling for the Texas Longhorn’s at the same time. Well, I am just being honest. As I predicted, Alabama would tear Texas apart. I do not want to offend anyone but the SEC is the toughest conference in the sport. Alabama breezed through the SEC with the exceptions of Tennessee and Auburn but they won those games too despite a thorough butt spanking from Auburn. Auburn, you showed your weakness by allowing Alabama, the National Champions to put together one flawless drive and that at the very end of the game. Typical Auburn! Alabama has got to be blessed by God or the luck of the Irish or something due to the breaks that seem to always go their way. This time it was QB Colt taking a solid hit from a Bama boy and leaving Texas without a weapon way early in the game. Texas showed even during their first two opportunities to jump out on top of Bama that they just don’t have the talent to compete on the level of the SEC with only being able to put up two field goals, I knew then they had already played their best against Bama. Heck, even Auburn who was a middle of the road SEC contender scored two touchdowns on Bama right off the bat. Well, I have said it before many times and I say it again, if you go undefeated in the SEC you are already National Champions. Alabama just proved it with two bonus games against Florida and Texas. So Roll Tide! They certainly deserve it! As for now, I will close with this lame blog and hope I get it together soon. Oh, and by the way. I won a bet on the fact that it would not snow in Birmingham this week despite the once or twice a year predictions we get from our weathermen on the news. I hope the kickbacks from the grocery stores come in quick for them. I wonder what I won? 

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Cat's in the Cradle?

My first born daughter Amber who serves us all in the United States Navy has blessed our New Year with a visit. She is still here visiting with us and will be for a few more days. I have to keep reminding myself that once your child flies the coup they never fully return. They only visit leaving the at home family a little smaller and a little sad. I learned this early as a child with the death of my father. A family is a precious thing that is temporary yet we never keep that in mind during our daily routines. Then one day the family is smaller and we realize it only to fall back into the dreary everyday routine until it is time for the next family resizing. I remember when my older brother married Coni, my sister. Yes I said sister, so don’t rush to stereotype me because I live in Alabama. I say sister because heck it is hard to remember times without her around. I think I was 15 when this beautiful Italian girl became an Edwards and joined right into the family fights like she had always belonged. Well she did always belong and we just didn’t realize it then. So the family was resized. We had to adjust how we normally acted while she was in the house. (Yes Coni, we actually acted even less civilized when you weren’t around) This time frame was also another learning curve for me. I learned real quickly not to use Italian jokes around Coni. Wow! They actually did get offended by them and Italian women are a force to be reckoned with when you piss them off! But anyway, Coni is my sister and I know her by no other way. She is strong and very level headed and ready to listen if you need her to and I love her very much. I don’t think I ever really told her I felt this way about her. Maybe she will read this blog? So my brother John joined the Marine Corps when he was but a young married pup and off he went never to return to the Edwards fold as an in house family member. But again, the family was soon resized with the exciting addition of the Edwards family coming by way of my first Nephew Lee Michael. This brings up another blog topic of whether it is wrong to have family favorites. But not now, if I would declare a family favorite it would have to be Lee Michael. His presence just lights up any room regardless of the fact of his shyness. I said if because I do not have a favorite Nephew or Niece. Only those parents of more than one child can understand that you can equally love more than one child but yet also love them differently. This is truly one of God’s greatest mysteries. But anyway, I love my Nephew Louie, who also taught me other lesson’s of learning along with the next family resizing with the addition of Jennifer, my first niece. Wow, I also learned from my sister Coni that you never ever answer truthfully to a mother about the looks of her new born baby. Yes, I was stupid enough to say that Jennifer was an ugly baby to Coni. Well, I thought she was and frankly, I think most all new born babies are ugly, except for mine of course! Well they are! They either look like aliens who just broke free from an egg pod or they look like old elderly people. Oh but yet another learning experience that was. Jennifer taught me many things. First that ugly babies become rather beautiful kids very quickly, and secondly, that life is precious and short and a child deserves YOUR best treatment at all times even when they actually act like children! Jennifer. I could write for years on how she impacted me and I would have to entitle it “Regret’s”. But we have an understanding now that she lives in heaven and knows my heart and the love I had for her. Did you know people can forgive you even after death? It is true. So again this too can be yet another blog for another day. So, I left the coup myself and joined my wife on an adventure of lessons learned which continue today. Our family grew quickly with Amber, and both my wife Billie and I grew up with Amber! I think this is why God saw to it that the first born child should always inherit the parent’s possessions. Because they were with you when you had nothing and deserve all your possessions because they were with you when you were able to collect them. Well in our case that was how it was with Amber in tow through all the miserable times of trying to make it through life’s hardships absolutely broke with all those around making predictions and wagering on how much time before we called it quits and split up. Thank you! Your full support and faith was ever motivating! The family resized shortly later with my younger brother Terry flying the coup to marry Mary. Our family was reduced to just mom and we fractured off with each his own family. Terry and Mary who we all thought would be unable to produce children ended up being as fertile as the Tennessee Valley with 5 children of their own. (so far) With Brian, Isaac and Abbie Gail, those I haven’t mentioned yet bring my mom with a total of 11 grandchildren. This brings me to the point of this blog. No, I am not drinking and rambling off about the past for no reason. Every time Amber comes home for a visit I find myself being selfish of her time here. Yes, I even get jealous when she runs off with all her friends and spends time with them. When they come over I am reintroduced to all these young studs who remind me of how I use to look. (Another blog) and then I am rebuked by Amber for forgetting most of their names although she forgets that they have changed physically since she use to hang out with them and that she has more friends than Mother Teresa. But when she comes home and goes out on a date I love to purposely call her date by another young man’s name. J This can be quite fun. I love the look of confusion on their faces. Back to the point, Amber is all grown up now and off living on her own in another part of the States as she serves our country and when she returns for a visit I want her time. The reason for this deep down inside me is because I do not want to face the fact that Amber has left the nest. We did our job. Her life is now her life and we will become like my mom did. I don’t want to face the fact that our family will fracture and resize like the family I grew up in did. That means that before I know it Isaac will be leaving our home to travel his own path and then it will Be Abbie Gail’s turn to leave. I guess I am selfish to the point that I do not want to be old and waiting for a visit from my children. I often wonder, am I the guy in the song “The Cat’s in the Cradle”? Is that really my fear? Have I spent enough good quality time with my children that they will need me in their lives or did I short cut their time with Dad running around playing policeman while they grew up? Yes, it is a fear. So I must allow Amber the space she needs to recharge all of her batteries at home. And that means that I must remind myself that I myself and her mom are not Amber’s whole world even if we want that to be the case. Let her grow and enjoy her freedom to choose who to visit and how much time to spend with mom and dad. I love Amber and I am very proud of her as those of you who follow my blog know. But I am also very selfish. I need to remind myself that the world does not exist to please me. (Although I admit, I want it to!) I just hate seeing my life slipping away so quickly and I want to slow it down for my own benefit. Hey, just being honest with my readers you know?