My first born daughter Amber who serves us all in the United States Navy has blessed our New Year with a visit. She is still here visiting with us and will be for a few more days. I have to keep reminding myself that once your child flies the coup they never fully return. They only visit leaving the at home family a little smaller and a little sad. I learned this early as a child with the death of my father. A family is a precious thing that is temporary yet we never keep that in mind during our daily routines. Then one day the family is smaller and we realize it only to fall back into the dreary everyday routine until it is time for the next family resizing. I remember when my older brother married Coni, my sister. Yes I said sister, so don’t rush to stereotype me because I live in
. I say sister because heck it is hard to remember times without her around. I think I was 15 when this beautiful Italian girl became an Edwards and joined right into the family fights like she had always belonged. Well she did always belong and we just didn’t realize it then. So the family was resized. We had to adjust how we normally acted while she was in the house. (Yes Coni, we actually acted even less civilized when you weren’t around) This time frame was also another learning curve for me. I learned real quickly not to use Italian jokes around Coni. Wow! They actually did get offended by them and Italian women are a force to be reckoned with when you piss them off! But anyway, Coni is my sister and I know her by no other way. She is strong and very level headed and ready to listen if you need her to and I love her very much. I don’t think I ever really told her I felt this way about her. Maybe she will read this blog? So my brother John joined the Marine Corps when he was but a young married pup and off he went never to return to the Edwards fold as an in house family member. But again, the family was soon resized with the exciting addition of the Edwards family coming by way of my first Nephew Lee Michael. This brings up another blog topic of whether it is wrong to have family favorites. But not now, if I would declare a family favorite it would have to be Lee Michael. His presence just lights up any room regardless of the fact of his shyness. I said if because I do not have a favorite Nephew or Niece. Only those parents of more than one child can understand that you can equally love more than one child but yet also love them differently. This is truly one of God’s greatest mysteries. But anyway, I love my Nephew Louie, who also taught me other lesson’s of learning along with the next family resizing with the addition of Jennifer, my first niece. Wow, I also learned from my sister Coni that you never ever answer truthfully to a mother about the looks of her new born baby. Yes, I was stupid enough to say that Jennifer was an ugly baby to Coni. Well, I thought she was and frankly, I think most all new born babies are ugly, except for mine of course! Well they are! They either look like aliens who just broke free from an egg pod or they look like old elderly people. Oh but yet another learning experience that was. Jennifer taught me many things. First that ugly babies become rather beautiful kids very quickly, and secondly, that life is precious and short and a child deserves YOUR best treatment at all times even when they actually act like children! Jennifer. I could write for years on how she impacted me and I would have to entitle it “Regret’s”. But we have an understanding now that she lives in heaven and knows my heart and the love I had for her. Did you know people can forgive you even after death? It is true. So again this too can be yet another blog for another day. So, I left the coup myself and joined my wife on an adventure of lessons learned which continue today. Our family grew quickly with Amber, and both my wife Billie and I grew up with Amber! I think this is why God saw to it that the first born child should always inherit the parent’s possessions. Because they were with you when you had nothing and deserve all your possessions because they were with you when you were able to collect them. Well in our case that was how it was with Amber in tow through all the miserable times of trying to make it through life’s hardships absolutely broke with all those around making predictions and wagering on how much time before we called it quits and split up. Thank you! Your full support and faith was ever motivating! The family resized shortly later with my younger brother Terry flying the coup to marry Mary. Our family was reduced to just mom and we fractured off with each his own family. Terry and Mary who we all thought would be unable to produce children ended up being as fertile as the Alabama with 5 children of their own. (so far) With Brian, Isaac and Abbie Gail, those I haven’t mentioned yet bring my mom with a total of 11 grandchildren. This brings me to the point of this blog. No, I am not drinking and rambling off about the past for no reason. Every time Amber comes home for a visit I find myself being selfish of her time here. Yes, I even get jealous when she runs off with all her friends and spends time with them. When they come over I am reintroduced to all these young studs who remind me of how I use to look. (Another blog) and then I am rebuked by Amber for forgetting most of their names although she forgets that they have changed physically since she use to hang out with them and that she has more friends than Mother Teresa. But when she comes home and goes out on a date I love to purposely call her date by another young man’s name. J This can be quite fun. I love the look of confusion on their faces. Back to the point, Amber is all grown up now and off living on her own in another part of the States as she serves our country and when she returns for a visit I want her time. The reason for this deep down inside me is because I do not want to face the fact that Amber has left the nest. We did our job. Her life is now her life and we will become like my mom did. I don’t want to face the fact that our family will fracture and resize like the family I grew up in did. That means that before I know it Isaac will be leaving our home to travel his own path and then it will Be Abbie Gail’s turn to leave. I guess I am selfish to the point that I do not want to be old and waiting for a visit from my children. I often wonder, am I the guy in the song “The Cat’s in the Cradle”? Is that really my fear? Have I spent enough good quality time with my children that they will need me in their lives or did I short cut their time with Dad running around playing policeman while they grew up? Yes, it is a fear. So I must allow Amber the space she needs to recharge all of her batteries at home. And that means that I must remind myself that I myself and her mom are not Amber’s whole world even if we want that to be the case. Let her grow and enjoy her freedom to choose who to visit and how much time to spend with mom and dad. I love Amber and I am very proud of her as those of you who follow my blog know. But I am also very selfish. I need to remind myself that the world does not exist to please me. (Although I admit, I want it to!) I just hate seeing my life slipping away so quickly and I want to slow it down for my own benefit. Hey, just being honest with my readers you know? Tennessee Valley
- Birmingham, Alabama, United States
- 43 Years old Born in Wilson, North Carolina. Work in Law Enforcement / Patrol, married I am a Political Conservative without a party to represent my vote. I dislike liars, especially the type who are politicians and preachers. I oppose abortion of any type at any stage. The baby is innocent and deserves life regardless of the mothers circumstances. I also dislike racists. Especially the kind that always scream racism at others when life doesn't go there way! Get a life, it's only skin color and God made idiots in all colors. I also dislike Democrats, they wouldn't know the truth if it bit them on the ass. I dislike Republicans, they are truly the most spineless creatures on God's green earth. I dislike arrogant environmentalist who think we can destroy what God created. If your homosexual, I don't dislike you, but please keep it in your own bedroom behind closed doors for the sake of the untwisted.