Finding the Source of Pain in Hurting People

Lately it seems I have met a lot of hurting people. People that carry with them pain as if it were an accessory like a wallet in their pocket or a keychain in their hand. I describe it in that manner because it is usually something not spoken about very often and hard to see unless you are aware of it or familiar with such pain. Hurting people become experts at hiding or camouflaging their pain. Sometimes it is obvious in those who exhibit serious withdrawal from others and other signs of depression. But in many the pain swims deep within the mind and soul unseen by others. Sometimes it can be exhibited in other forms of behavior such as humor. I had always heard that most of our funniest comics suffered serious manic depression. The comedy expressed by a comedian being an outlet for their pain or even a form of medication to ease the pain. I am sure that is not the case with all of them but it makes me wonder sometimes if our greatest comics suffered the deepest pain. Other forms of expressing pain are not so pleasing to others such as the bully or the person who cannot get along with other’s well who starts fights or keeps chaos running amuck with those in their lives. It would seem that these types of people prefer to release their pain by transferring pain to others. I have always taken to heart that old saying that misery loves company. Well in some cases this is very true. There are also ones that desire to translate their pain into being destructive whether by being physically abusive, sexually abusive, mentally abusive or even destructive with co-workers by creating sabotage within the workplace or at a specific employee for a perceived wrong whether it occurred in reality or not. Ever noticed the ones that seem to be mad at the whole world or feel the whole world is out to get them? It could be that these types of people had no anchor of trust in someone such as parents that were not there to support them as a child, or absent during their childhood development, leaving them to handle adversity on their own with no one to stand by them in times of trouble or disappointments. I have a unique career which has exposed me to many forms of personal pain in others. There are times I can see it and use it to my advantage quickly to ascertain the actual problem. But to really know the source of the pain only the one experiencing it can explain it. It can be multiple sources of pain and hurt that is deep inside their soul and psyche. The one suffering the pain from others or loss can be the only person that can tap into it and study the issues within to find an answer that will allow healing. That person can only do this when they are ready and able to face what they fear the most. That could possibly be the most frightening aspect of finding healing when you decide to challenge the demons within that torture. Finding healing will never be possible without that confrontation and then the real battle begins.