About Me

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Birmingham, Alabama, United States
43 Years old Born in Wilson, North Carolina. Work in Law Enforcement / Patrol, married I am a Political Conservative without a party to represent my vote. I dislike liars, especially the type who are politicians and preachers. I oppose abortion of any type at any stage. The baby is innocent and deserves life regardless of the mothers circumstances. I also dislike racists. Especially the kind that always scream racism at others when life doesn't go there way! Get a life, it's only skin color and God made idiots in all colors. I also dislike Democrats, they wouldn't know the truth if it bit them on the ass. I dislike Republicans, they are truly the most spineless creatures on God's green earth. I dislike arrogant environmentalist who think we can destroy what God created. If your homosexual, I don't dislike you, but please keep it in your own bedroom behind closed doors for the sake of the untwisted.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Sometimes I Just Sit and Wonder

I think about my life and what it means or think about what it is supposed to mean. Is it a test? Am I just an experiment to see what I will do in any given situation? Am I just like a mouse that has been placed in a box filled with a maze of pathways to choose with nothing but my own brain and its storage of experiences to guide me through the next opening in the maze, only to hope I choose the right path? I am but one person, one body in the world of so many people at a specific period of time. I am Just one in billions who each have their own paths to travel. I have responsibilities to others, my family, my children, my bosses, my employees. All of whom depend upon me. Every conversation that comes from my mouth effects all those who are around me. My chosen words and actions cause the reactions I get from each and every person I come across in this life. Experience as mentioned before causes me to be careful to choose my words with those around me. Why? Is it for just my own selfish desires or conveniences which words I choose to speak to those around me? Do I consider some better than others and speak kinder to them while being less careful with those I feel May not benefit me as much? Or do I have deeper and more pure motives that cause me to treat others as I myself would want to be treated in order to be a benefit to those whom paths I cross? I always take measure of my life and its purpose and yet I always seem to be unsatisfied with the results of what I see. Is it again selfishness that I am not where I feel I could have been at this point in time, or do I feel pride that I am in better circumstances than others I see around me? Could it be that it may not be pride I feel but gratefulness that I have more than others may have? Or is it as it seems most of the time that I feel I do not have as much in my possession as others do around me? I think sometimes of all the people I have hurt in one way or another, some out of meanness and some out ignorance. Maybe a few I have hurt have been out of jealousy? Why do all these people cross my path and some stay but so many seem to go away? Are these same people merely traveling their own path in search of what meaning life has to them? Could it be that I am one of those people who simply do not offer as much benefit to their own lives and they move onward to other places and people? Sometimes I wonder what affect my life will have had in other people’s lives long after I reach the end of this maze. Will I be remembered by those who remain? Will I have left an impression on them that they may have benefited from or will my passing be of no consequence to their lives at all? I wonder if my life will have touched enough people in a positive giving way that will leave those behind with something to pass on for others to benefit. Has God given me life in order to offer a chance for me to do good for others? Or has God given me life as an experiment of failure to which opportunities were given but I failed to see them and let the selfish desires cloud my way, or the heartaches and troubles cause me to lose heart? When I think deeply like this it always seems to make me feel yet again unworthy or incapable due to the many wrong decisions or failures whether through ignorance or fault. At last, I see that I am imperfect and in need of God’s help when things are going good and especially when I am simply just being me and make a total mess of things. Thank God that He is merciful. Even for those like me.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:50 AM

    Times in life our paths get cloudy and roads in life seem broken. In Proverbs 3:5-6 it reads Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
    So just Remember~ God will"Bless the Broken Road".